Need a place to live!!

Honey wanted something shiney that could do 0 to 160 in a few seconds. I bought her a scale. Got a place for me to live.
 
A man walks in to his house carrying a chicken under his arm. walks up to his wife and says.. here's that Pig I have been making love (PG VERSION) to. His wife says that's not a pig you moron that's a chicken... Man says to wife... I wasn't talking to you!

One less man on the planet!
 

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